2024 (Christmas if you Celebrate) Gift List

Tinkerbell makes an appearance or two...

Book of Fairytales: To the ICC and BCCI for believing that the Champions Trophy schedule id a ‘true story.’ Seven out eight teams have to select a squad for two different countries and don’t know where their semi-final or the final will be played (should they progress) while the eighth knows exactly where every match will be played. And it won’t be in the host country. Two different stadiums in two countries must be fully prepared to host the knockout matches. Two TV crews, hundreds of hotel rooms, flights…millions of dollars. Tinkerbell.

Box of Chocolates: To the Ivory Coast T20 team which was dismissed for a total of seven (7) runs in a T20 World Cup sub-regional Africa Qualifier Group C match by Nigeria in Abuja to lose by 264-runs. It was a new record low in T20 internationals. The Ivory Coast is the world’s biggest producer and exporter of cacao beans so at least a large box of chocolates should be easier to organise than a scoreboard full of runs. (The match was Ivory Coast’s fifth T20I. Their highest score to date is 41 – against Eswatini.)

Bottle of Milk: To the Jersey T20 team which played its 50^th T20 International during 2024 having won 34 of them. Their win ratio of 68% puts them in third place amongst all teams to have played 50+ matches. Only Uganda (77.88%) and India (69.91%) have a superior victory rate.

MegaChief Award: To Kagiso Rabada for becoming the 37th bowler to reach 300 Test wickets BUT the quickest in terms of balls bowled. Faster than Lillee, Hadlee, Muralitharan, Marshall, Steyn, Warne, Donald, McGrath, Waqar Younis… the list goes on.

ID book: To Kwena Maphaka who became the youngest man to play international cricket for South Africa at the age of 18 years and 137 days) in a T20I against the West Indie at Tarouba in Trinidad in August.

Roller skates: Marco Jansen was in a hurry at the start of the must-win Test match against Sri Lanka at Kingsmead claiming 7-13 in just 6.5 overs to dismiss the tourists for just 42 and set up victory by 233 runs. It was just the second time a bowler had taken seven wickets in under seven overs in Test history following Hugh Trumble’s 6.5-0-28-7 for Australia against England at Melbourne 1904.

Ration Pack: To Test cricket. There will have been 53 Tests played in 2024 by the end of the year which is just two short of the most in a calendar year (55 in 2001). There would have been 54 had Afghanistan v New Zealand not been washed out. The format may be struggling to prosper in many countries but at least it is still being played. Quite a lot.

Days off: To Test Cricketers: Of the 48 completed Tests so far this year only one has ended in a draw. Only 10 of the Tests have gone to a fifth day while 25 were finished on the fourth. No less than 12 were over by day three and one (SA vs India at Newlands) was concluded on day two. The players have gifted themselves 52 days off in total over the 48 Tests played before December 25.

100 Red Balloons: To a trio of Proteas Test cricketers. Tony de Zorzi, Tristan Stubbs and Wiaan Mulder scored their maiden Test hundreds against Bangladesh at Chattogram, the first time a team has had three first-time hundred scorers in the same Test since the West Indies achieved the feat against India in Delhi in 1948.

Walking Stick: To the Proteas T20 team. Keeping it steady, one step at a time, reaching the World Cup final in 2024 for the first time. The next step is to win it.

Magic Wand: To the disappearing international cricket stadium in New York, or Long Island to be accurate. Erected at a cost of around $30 million to stage eight T20 World Cup games, the 30,000-seater Nassau County venue was dismantled and ‘vanished’ within a week of the final game. Time will tell if it was a successful ‘investment’. One suspects not.

Camouflage outfit: To Tristan Stubbs who was disguised (by others) as a T20 specialist but shattered the ruse with a remarkable 302* for the Warriors against KZN Inland in Pitermaritzburg. And followed it up with two Test centuries.

Bucket portion: To the Proteas Women for playing three Test matches in a calendar year for the first time since 1972. Results didn’t go according to plan but at least the men’s meagre Test schedule was given some perspective.

Wolf Trophy: To Laura Wolvaardt who posted the record ODI score for SA – 184* against Sri Lanka at Potchefstroom in April surpassing Johmari Logtenberg’s 153* against the Netherlands in 2007.

Debutants Gown: Six of them, to the players who were capped against New Zealand at Mount Maunganui in February. It was the most debutants since Bridgetown 1992 after a quarter of century of isolation.

Tinkerbell Wicket Award: To Shaun von Berg, the oldest SA debutant since Jimmy Cook and Omar Henry back in 1991 whose only ‘wicket’ in his solitary Test was denied him by an lbw DRS in his only Test match at Hamilton. Match figures of 29-3-100-0 are the sum of what he will have to tell his grandchildren about. But he does have a Test cap.

NeverLand Award: To KZN Inland. You can’t make this stuff up. Chasing 67 to win against Northern Cape, they were dismissed for 47. Seriously.

A paid subscriber and/or a coffee: To me. The first is only £4 per month! The second is £4… anytime! Love you all…