Air-time 'flatties' bench bowlers

For the curiosity and benefit of those who do not drink wine, one of the measures of its quality is the length of time the taste lingers in your mouth after tasting it and spitting it out. (Or swallowing it.) The longer the better, obviously – although it will always be a subjective judgement because you may not enjoy the experience just because it clings to your taste buds.

The after-taste of Test cricket also lingers much longer on the palate than the short-form games. I don’t recall the details of a 50-over game much beyond a day or two and I can barely get out of the stadium without forgetting the result of a T20. Unfortunately, it’s not just the taste of the good Test matches which lasts.

The last five days of my life have been spent describing what didn’t happen in the first Test between the West Indies and England in Antigua for talkSPORT from their studio in London. A combination of Covid protocols and budget restraints meant that half the commentary team was at the Sir Vivian Richards Cricket Stadium in North Sound while the rest of us were on the 17th floor of the News Building overlooking the River Thames.

By the time England’s top order realised there was nothing of concern in the pitch, they were 48-4. Then Jonny Bairstow scored 140 untroubled runs to help the tourists limp past 300. The only problems the home team’s batters had throughout the match was with their concentration. No such trouble for Nkrumah Bonner, however, who faced (and mostly left) 493 deliveries during his innings of 123 and 38 not out.

Joe Root was said by some to have been ‘disrespectful’ to the West Indies by insisting on playing out the final hour with Bonner and Jason Holder well set at the crease and another six wickets required for an unlikely England win. Even the Barmy Army went quiet during that spectacularly dull final hour when the captains could have agreed on the inevitable draw and spared everyone the pain.

It has been even worse in Pakistan where Australia are the visitors for the first time in 24 years. Just 14 wickets fell during the first Test in Rawalpindi and the tourists batted throughout the first two days in Karachi reaching 505-8 in 180 overs. It was a giant middle finger to the conditions and may well prove successful. Keeping a team in the field for six sessions is close to being a human rights violation and the home side must surely be prone to a batting collapse. At least England and the West Indies managed to bowl each other out once. When Test cricket is good, it’s the best. And the opposite is true.

Right up until the mid 1980s the vast majority of cricketers played Test cricket for themselves and their team mates. There was very little money in the game and the concept of having a responsibility to ‘entertain’ was alien. If a victory was achieved early in a series it would be protected with conservative selections – an extra batsman – and teams would make little attempt to disguise their ambitions of playing for a draw. Thankfully those days are long gone, draws are in decline and Test cricketers not only recognise that people have paid money to watch them perform but feel an obligation to make it worth their while.

Pakistan’s players have been quiet on the nature of the pitches for the first two Tests but former captain and current PCB chairman, Rameez Raja, issued an amusingly earnest defence of the playing surface insisting that the hosts did not want to “play into Australia’s hands” by giving the bowlers a chance.

In Antigua, however, there was general condemnation of the playing surface with Sir Curtly Ambrose leading the way from the commentary box closely followed by head coach Phil Simmons from the changing room. Both said more grass should have been left on the pitch and that it was not a fair contest between bat and ball. Interestingly, there was no comment from the curators. As always, they are caught between a rock and a hard place. Rarely are they left alone to prepare the pitch as they see fit.

Australia’s visit to Pakistan is the most financially rewarding tour the country has hosted since the last time India visited in January 2006. It is a commercial giant promising to generate millions of dollars. Nothing is unsponsored and television airtime is at a premium. The more of it that can be generated, the more cash it will bring.

Similar commercial imperatives are at play during England’s tour of the Caribbean where they will play the Tests on three of the regions most popular tourist islands, Antigua, Barbados and Grenada. The three nations are almost entirely dependent on the tourism industry and, for the first time in two years, the voracious Barmy Army is traveling again. There may only have been 1500 or so in Antigua, but that number will be closer to 5000 in Barbados and again a week later.

It’s not just about the beer and food they consume during play and the excursions they pay for on non-match days, it is – again – the airtime they are given which sends the rest of the world the message that the Caribbean is open for business. As in Pakistan, commercial sense over-ruled cricket sense and, for the moment, five days of exposure is as (or more) important than winning.

Like ‘corked’ wine it leaves a sour taste but there’s always going to be a bad bottle from time to time. It’s an unfortunate part of the process. We just have to hope it doesn’t put people off Test cricket. Or wine.