Artificiality is the Real Thing

Millions of people around the world are having their lifelong views of ‘normality’ challenged on a daily basis so why should sport be any different? Teams used to be selected mainly on players form and performance, with local ‘conditions’ playing a role, but that’s not the case in the new world.

England have set the benchmark by making some selection decisions weeks or even months before the fixtures take place. Using whatever science is available and a year’s worth of experience in bio-secure bubbles from previous tours, chief selector Ed Smith and head coach Chris Silverwood made educated guesses about who might need a break, and when.

It isn’t only mental well-being, however. 38-year-old James Anderson made a huge contribution towards winning the first Test against India but wasn’t in the XI for the second Test despite indicating his preference to play rather than be rested. That decision was made before the team even landed in India.

Unlike Anderson, Jos Buttler and Jonny Bairstow are multi-format players whose rest windows overlapped resulting in Ben Foakes, who is a better wicket keeper than either of them, playing in the rest of the series. England are prioritising the T20 World Cup at the end of the year and will field a full-strength squad in the five T20 Internationals next month at the behest of captain Eoin Morgan.

How peculiar that Foakes cannot challenge Buttler for his place in the Test team, no matter how brilliant his glovework and batting against spin. And that Bairstow, who had a successful tour of Sri Lanka, knows that – because he was rested rather than dropped – his return to the team at number three is guaranteed.

England’s extreme example will be copied, to a lesser degree, by other Test nations as the international fixture list becomes ever more crowded and tours merge into each other. For the moment, the sight of new players has intrigued captive audiences as they remain largely trapped at home. A second-string West Indies team thrillingly beat Bangladesh in a Test series in the subcontinent with many players unfamiliar to viewers outside the Caribbean.

The danger, in time, is that international cricket becomes diluted and the current desperation to honour broadcasting contracts with ‘content’ is self-defeating. If the quality of cricket suffers, so too will advertising revenue and the subsequent value of those television deals. But, for now, Covid is keeping cricket alive, bizarrely.     

In the circumstances, perhaps it is appropriate that the talkSPORT radio commentary team has been starting work on the Test series at 4:00am. We are self-testing for the virus on a regular basis and working from a commentary suite fashioned out of a reconfigured board room on the 17th floor of the News Building with stunning views of the Thames and many of London’s most famous landmarks.

We participate in Zoom interviews with the players and, as rights-holders, have exclusive access before and after each day’s play. Some things remain the same but it has been a challenge reflecting the action taking place under mostly cloudless skies in 30 degrees when it is minus six degrees and snowing outside.

The entire production could be in jeopardy if any of us contract the virus. We wear masks at all times when not commentating and practise social-distancing. We will sit at the same desks throughout the series with the same microphone and headset. Tea and coffee is delivered to us to prevent ‘close proximity’ at the kettle.

I am extremely fortunate to be staying in a small apartment belonging to a colleague – it has everything I could possibly want or need, including satellite TV. I have been leaving it at 3:00am on match days and returning by midday. On non-match days I run for an hour and make only short visits to the supermarket when necessary. Some players have been criticised for describing five-star hotel rooms as being like a prison, but I can confirm that no matter how well-appointed your walls are, they start closing in on you eventually.

One player joked that he needed to make sure he “didn’t do too well” lest he spent his life moving from one bubble to the next. I fear that may become a reality for many broadcasters once the finance department works out how much can be saved on flights and accommodation by having their commentary teams work from a studio and live at home. There is, hopefully, enough artificiality around without that catching on.

Keen to see as much of the ‘real world’ as possible in my exercise window this morning, I ran to Battersea Bridge to catch a glimpse of the multi-billion pound development of the old power station which, I believe, will include a giant mall, restaurants, offices and boutique (small), niche (expensive) apartments.

A well-positioned, studio apartment overlooking the grand old river within a few minutes walk of a variety of transport links could set you back £1.1million. It’s always a mistake to do the conversion when in London, but…that’s over R20million. And you don’t even get a bedroom. “Location, location, location,” said my Londoner friend. “They are whizz-bang units, mind you. They come with a top of the range bed that folds into the wall.”

Suddenly, nothing else seemed mad anymore. 

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