The weird, wild world of cricket during Omicron

The majority of the substantial English cricket press corps left the UK during the course of last week to cover what will be one of the most unusual Ashes tours ever undertaken. It was weird before they even left home with reams of paperwork to be completed and all the usual pre-departure Covid tests but it became stranger still on arrival.

None of them will be attending the first Test at the Gabba in Brisbane because the Queensland State government is still implementing a 14-day quarantine system which means they would not be able to get to the MCG in Melbourne in time for the Boxing Day Test match which, as usual, is quickly followed by the New Year Test at the SCG.

The States of Victoria and New South Wales have opted to pursue a mass-vaccination policy rather than quarantine so movement between the two is less problematic. There is still uncertainty about regulations and protocols in South Australia for the fourth Test in Adelaide while the premier of Western Australia has said they would love to host the fifth Test in Perth’s fancy new stadium – provided everybody, from players to broadcasters and fans undergoes another compulsory 14-day quarantine.

He appears to be either unaware of the Ashes schedule or doesn’t care that staging the fifth Test under such conditions would be logistically impossible. Australia, it seems, is divided into two groups. Those who care, for cricketing or financial reasons, about the Ashes and are prepared to make compromises to ensure the series takes place, and those who don’t. No matter the cost, in whatever measure.

Cricket South Africa, meanwhile, has reassured their counterparts at the BCCI that they have full faith in their construction and management of BioSecure Environments for the Indian men’s tour of the country having endured no breaches in Gauteng during tours by Sri Lanka, Pakistan and, very briefly, the Netherlands. Oh, yes, there was that problem with the England tour in Cape Town when the visitors insisted on playing golf on half a dozen courses around the Western Cape.

Media houses around the world are doing their best to adapt, to keep coverage of cricket alive. It has nothing to do with a vainglorious or selfish desire to push cricket, and other sports, above more important sectors of business and society, just a desire to maintain the livelihoods of hundreds of thousands who are directly and indirectly involved.

English cricket writers may be having it weird, traveling to Australia to cover the first Test from a different city and doing interviews via Zoom from a neighbouring State, but it’s a level below my current predicament in which I find myself ‘stuck’ in London having travelled from Cape Town to commentate - off TV - on the two India/New Zealand Test matches. Let that sink in.

TalkSport Radio have long been ahead of the game when it comes to off-site commentary but they have pushed the boundaries of exploration in covering a series involving two countries outside their own borders – and the resident population of India and NZ fans in the UK appear to have responded favourably.

It means wake-up calls at 2:45am for 4:00am starts but the quality and value of the cricket on display in Kanpur for the first Test made it worthwhile. It was also an opportunity to be fully prepared for India’s tour of SA for which I had always planned to return in good time. Until Emirates responded to Boris Johnson’s ‘panic button’ with one of their own. Now I’m scrambling. Apparently KLM are still flying. The calm, phlegmatic Dutch. Good for them. The only reason their cricketers agreed to cancel the tour of South Africa was their fear of being quarantined for 10 days at home.

But now, midway through finally writing this column, it seems there may be a ‘delay’ in the India tour of SA. The BCCI spent much of Thursday in lengthy discussion with CSA about the possibility of cancelling the first Test at the Wanderers and starting a two-Test series on Boxing Day. The remaining New Year Test at Newlands would remain in place as would the scheduled white-ball games in Cape Town and Paarl.

By way of compensation for CSA, the BCCI apparently offered to return to South Africa later next year to play a series of five T20Is before the T20 World Cup in Australia in October. Although that would be scant compensation to lovers of Test cricket, such a tour would generate significantly more revenue which makes it a no-brainer for CSA to accept. But nothing has yet been confirmed. Maybe I won’t have to rush back after all.

Nothing is certain anymore. For many people, nothing has been certain for almost two years. It is snowing outside. It is raining in Mumbai delaying the start of the second Test. The studio coffee machine is playing up. And it’s just six days before coverage of the Brisbane Test starts. From Melbourne. I just did Covid test number 103. Happy Friday.