Well said Manners! The fragile folly of Bazball embarrassed England during the Ashes and has embarrassed them again. Neither Aus nor NZ had their front line attack fit for most of the series. McCullum should have been the first to go followed by the Suits who backed him against the warrior captain, flawed as he may be. Now England have a choice as captain between the unwinning great Joe Root and talented class clown Harry Brook. Next year’s Ashes can’t come soon enough!
It seems obvious that England have recognised something, at least. Brook cannot be captain. He is a child in grown-up clothes. McCullum is in deluded denial. He cannot face the truth. His 'blueprint' worked (occasionally) for him as an extremely talented batsman with nothing to lose toward the end of his career. It doesn't work for 99% of players and never for those starting out in international cricket. He doesn't have long left. He'll soon need to look elsewhere to keep his racehorses fed.
You are 100 percent correct , in my opinion despite all his great performances of the past he yesterday brought English cricket into disrepute with his selfish attitude and attempt at one final pathetic attempt at showmanship . Despite the fact that English fans will recall his heroics , I will remember him as a man who thought he was bigger than the game that made him famous .
Nobody is (or ever was) bigger than the game. I believe Stokes will reflect of his choice of actions with some embarrassment in the years to come. Age may even mellow him sufficiently in the years to come to produce an admission of the fact.
Agreed the captain yo lead this rabble is there so who? we need to get Andy Flower back a tough no nonsense coach who won’t put up with this crap and get rid of those including Brook who don’t buy in. We need with this a tough no frills captain but who? there is no one in the current team who fits the bill.
Well that is definitely left field! another possibility and I know he’s an Aussie is Jason Gillespie who did well at Yorkshire and is now coaching South Australia. I’ve heard him interviewed and he seems a very impressive character a deep thinker of the game played of course at the highest level.
Flower led the team to a mental health collapse of Trott and the premature retirement of England's best ever batter Kevin Pietersen. Brook not long ago was rated number 1 in the world. Keep that man far away from the team.
Andy Flower is a vastly different coach, and man, to the one who led England to Ashes triumphs. He is less intense and had enjoyed unparallelled success over the last decade or so. To blame him for Trott's demise is preposterous - and also fails to give 'credit' to Mitchell Johnson! And Pietersen's demise was entirely a combination of his own work and that of his employers, the ECB, not the coach.
Stokes' retirement may have been a 'protest'. But I suspect Brook's approach was nothing more than a predictable display of care-free loyalty from a cult member groomed to believe that hard work is an unnecessary distraction from having a good time.
I knew last year when he tried to call an early close to an inevitable draw against India by trying to shake hands with Jadeja ( who calmly refused and told England to bowl and field on … because he was looking for a century after six odd hours of holding England at bay ) that Stokes shows respect to none of the niceties of cricket . He is essentially a bully trying to impose his will on everyone around him and becomes petulant when told to ‘ eff off ! ‘
And yesterday his parting shot : the truly excellent elongated bowling spell , the stupid release of his dressing room farewell to his team , his insanely devil-may-care batting summed him up perfectly . A mixture of brilliance and shabbiness … a near-genius cricketer in physical and mental decline and in my honest opinion a lout .
Well Behram, he WAS acquitted by a court...and it seems a little conspiracy-theory-ish to assume that that was simply a cover-up. If someone had wanted to cover it up, they'd probably have had a word in the ear of the CPS before it ever got anywhere near court....as, if I remember the story correctly, happened to another very famous England all-rounder when he punched someone when he was drunk.
As for evading responsibility, hanging around for the police to turn up and then giving the same story consistently from 2 am the morning it happened when you're still drunk to ten months later when you're on trial in front of the world's media seems a strange way to evade responsibility. Evading responsibility is what Alex Hales did--you scarper before the police arrive, disappear the next day and for some reason that I've never understood, aren't charged with the same offence that all the other people involved in the same fight were.
I really cannot opine from another continent whether he was guilty or not .. hence I’ve clearly written that . But that he loves a scrap on and off the field is almost irrefutable .
The ‘ reason ‘ given for his aggression there was he was defending two gay guys being assaulted . Who knows ? Perhaps so or perhaps just a cover-up to save a public figure . I really am in no position to know the reality but it seems he’s at heart a street fighter .. not just on a cricket field ! 🤣
I agree with every word you wrote Manners . I’m glad you have called a spade a spade in this piece you have penned . Yesterday was Stokes at his preening , selfish , publicity-seeking worst . I’ve always felt he’s an arrogant beer-drinking lout and his behaviour yesterday confirmed it . The fall of this man was inevitable at some stage , how Key and BAZ remain puzzles me .
As a New Zealander, and NZ Cricket Supporter for over 40 years, I feel that what Stokes (and his band of merry idiots) did in that last session really took the shine away from one of New Zealands great Test victorys, Test Series win as well as one of NZ's grittiest Test Centuries (Mitchell), a 300+ run opening partnership, a match saving (and with hindsight, a match winning) partnership between Mitchell and Ravindra.
This is the most complete team effort over a Test Series I can remember.
I can't imagine any team has ever had 9 x different players make Honours Boards across a 3 Test Series.
We have had five different century makers - Latham, Conway, Mitchell, Nicholls and Phillips - as well as four players with a fivefer - Henry x2, Jamieson, Smith and Foulkes.
Yet all of the English media (and fans) are reading clickbait headlines of Stokes et al...
We, down here in little ol NZ, will remember the match for the right reasons in years to come...
There is an argument to be made that Eng brought the game into disrepute on the 4th afternoon - the orchestrated bowling spell timed for the public announcement, the over the top wicket celebration carry on, the complete disrespect to the game and the opponent with whatever that batting display prior to stumps was, picking Bashir in a test team.....
I'm an Aussie, and honestly, this Bazball era could not have ended in better fashion. A complete train crash.
And, well played NZ. Got the wrong end of a dodgy one at Lords. Responded like a well rounded, well led and complete cricket team. Plenty of depth, plenty of character. Looking forward to the series in Oz this summer.
Plain truth in a sea of sycophancy. I see Stokes as a cricketer who performed great deeds rather than a consistently great cricketer. There was a slight justification for opening the batting - as McCullum did in that rain-shortened World Cup semifinal against SA in Auckland - and have a full go in an attempt to make a near-impossible target seem reachable. But for Brook to carry on like that was utterly brainless. Stokes has left his team in a mess and McCullum's position looks untenable, as does that of Rob Key.
Neither McCullum nor Key will be in their posts by the end of the English summer. Both were brilliant for a couple of years when English cricket was at a low ebb. I fell in love with Bazball cricket for a while. It was exhilirating, refreshing and winning. It felt like I was on a second honeymoon with the game. Now it feels like divorce can't come quick enough if Baz thinks Harry Brook's 21 runs from nine balls is the best way to chase down a fourth innings target of 373...
But, yeah, that had to be the most self-indulgent thing I've seen in Test Cricket, was it really worth potentially losing a series for? It did have the smell of Baz McCullum about it too, reminded me of the 2015 WC final with his ridiculous glory or bust innings.
He said after that final: "The only mistake I made was failing to watch the ball." Justification for the shot was never in doubt. He never, ever doubted himself or his choices. The problem with genius players as maverick coaches is that they assume the same level of talent exists in the players they 'mentor.' It obviously doesn't.
There’s something manic and entitled about Ben Stokes and I’ve been bemused that he’s almost become a protected species in England. That said I still think it’s sad it came to this. England’s over the top wicket celebrations when NZ had them buried were embarrassing and makes one wonder if a collective cognitive dissonance has settled over the team.
Cognitive dissonance is an acutely accurate diagnosis, Nathan. Spot on! There was a glorious slow-mo replay of New Zealand's celebration when Brook was dismissed. Two players could be clearly seen mouthing the words "...what the f*** are they doing?!"
The captain was awash with emotion and completely unable to control it. The coach thrives on that level of adrenalin - he doesn't care about the consequences. He's a junky.
That last hour was shameful from England, absolutely shameful. A négligent, irresponsable, careless and confused mess. 15 overs that summed up the complete and utter self-aggrandising farce that McCullumm's time with England has become. That was a side without any direction, cohérence or accountability; doing whatever they want because they've stopped listening to the coach months ago. And if it isn't, an he's behind that approach then that's even worse. English cricket has been in a mess many times but my word, it's bordering on fraud, calling this test cricket.
Stuart. I honestly don't believe I could have penned a more concise or accurate assessment of the situation. Care to write a Guest Column? Actually, I'm serious. I'd love to publish the angrily considered opinion of an England supporter...!
Thank you Neil. Those are very kind words from you. If you honestly do want the thoughts of a school teacher on summer holidays, I'm sure I can find the time to put something down, in between watching cricket, making cups of tea and frequent trips to the local shop to cater for my daughter's latest summer hobby. I can't guarantee that it would be any good, though.
Around lunch on day 4 Atherton (I think) spoke in breathless terms how we could all look forward to a classic 5-day test match, in the balance until after tea on the 5th day, with all four results in play. Entrance would be free, the stands packed to the rafters.
I had flash-backs to the 6th wicket stand of Atherton and Jack Russel at the Wanderers in 1995, to hold out for a draw, while I lost my 3-year-old son in the packed Wanderers crowd.
By contrast, Stokes pathetically sold the match, the series, his team, and the public for a tub of self-pity and an early shower.
I think of all the other English captains who resigned under great pressure, and the emotion involved. Juxtapose that against Stokes, and all I heard yesterday afternoon from Stokes was "this is the best decision for me."
It was all so pitiful, wasn't it? Lost amongst all of the wretchedness was Stokes' decision to keep six men on the boundary without a single fielder saving a single on the off-side when Daryl Mitchell was on 99*. Never, ever, ever give a man a Test century. Never give anyone a century, at any level of the game. Stokes' mind was gone.
I agree with you ( see my earlier note above ) it stank of conceit and utter disregard for the traditions of test cricket .. this wasn’t a fight to try and win/ save the or him going to the well one more time .. it was a ridiculous farce centred around his ego !
I suspect Stokes will be contrite in the weeks/months or years to come. I can't bring myself to believe he was thinking straight. He's not interested in making money or having social media followers. I hope it was nothing more than a flood of emotion scrambling his thougtb process...
I wonder if he’d shown any contrition for beating a bloke up at a pub years ago (rather than taking zero responsibility and being let off) whether things might be different now. No contrition then. Why do you think he’d be any different now?
It's fascinating how the breathless, fawning coverage of Stokes inside the English cricket bubble contrasts with the reception his retirement strop has been received by the likes of Gids over on Et Al and yourself, Manners, right here
As an English perspective on the South African perspective…Readers should not be fooled into thinking that the English cricketing public lap all this up and eat it with chips and a pint of Carling. We support the team in the stands (and even that is getting like football these days with people feeling the need to emblazon their favourite League Two nonentities on their cricket-supporting flag for some reason).
But we were WAY ahead of you on McCullum, a man so palpably unsuited for his current job he should investigate a future as a ballerina or an imam.
The appalling attitude that the England team has had to test cricket in the last few years has done so much damage, and Key and McCullum are at the heart of that. Stokes is responsible too, of course, but a key role of management is to protect players from themselves, to make decisions from the cool of the sidelines when the blood is hot and the muscles aching.
Even when it was getting results, it all seemed so childish and destined for an obvious fall. ‘Everything is about the Ashes’ is blithely insulting to the other Test nations (including the one that pays your bills, for good or ill). But then when the obviously sub-standard cricketers you’ve persisted with because ‘they’ll come through in the Ashes’ then don’t get selected for the Ashes…
The booze thing is real, but in a sense it’s a convenient cover. The current regime behaves like a gang of idiots when stone cold sober.
The best way for the ECB to make money right now would be to charge England fans £100 each to be in the room when MCCullum and Key are fired. They’d need to hire out an arena. They could probably afford to put cricket back on free to air TV if they did.
Stokes was a very good cricketer, perhaps slightly less than a great one. He provided moments and narratives more than consistency - this is what all-rounders do, and the ones who give you more than that are the true Kallis-and-Sobers greats of the game. He was flawed - aren’t we all? - but could offer plenty to patch up the flaws. The fact that he chose to leave on a flaw and not a patch is both appropriate and a massive shame.
However flawed he’s been, he’ll be missed. A coach who considers himself above the boring drudgeries of the game won’t be.
The more I read some of the comments on my columns, the more insecure I feel. Some of you write fare more lucidly than I can manage. David, you should be read more widely. Perhaps you are a writer... You are evidently as cross and fed-up as I am, yet you have managed to express yourself eloquently and without resorting to the foul-mouthery to which I succumbed. Well done to you! I shall attempt to follow your example henceforth. My understanding, incidentally, is that Baz and the ECB have agreed to part ways after the India white-ball series. Just a question of how much race-horse feed the hosts will need to pay...
Oh blimey. Humbled by that! I’m a frustrated writer, you might say. If I refrained from expletives it’s only because this didn’t seem the place to throw them around. God knows I’ve been doing enough of it when watching England these past years.
As I said in a text to a friend recently, should Brook become captain it just seems a matter of time before he’ll stop the England team wasting their time playing cricket and turn it into a proper McCullum-worshipping cult? There’s more than a little North Korean type fervour in their blind adherence to the dear leader.
Well said Manners! The fragile folly of Bazball embarrassed England during the Ashes and has embarrassed them again. Neither Aus nor NZ had their front line attack fit for most of the series. McCullum should have been the first to go followed by the Suits who backed him against the warrior captain, flawed as he may be. Now England have a choice as captain between the unwinning great Joe Root and talented class clown Harry Brook. Next year’s Ashes can’t come soon enough!
It seems obvious that England have recognised something, at least. Brook cannot be captain. He is a child in grown-up clothes. McCullum is in deluded denial. He cannot face the truth. His 'blueprint' worked (occasionally) for him as an extremely talented batsman with nothing to lose toward the end of his career. It doesn't work for 99% of players and never for those starting out in international cricket. He doesn't have long left. He'll soon need to look elsewhere to keep his racehorses fed.
You are 100 percent correct , in my opinion despite all his great performances of the past he yesterday brought English cricket into disrepute with his selfish attitude and attempt at one final pathetic attempt at showmanship . Despite the fact that English fans will recall his heroics , I will remember him as a man who thought he was bigger than the game that made him famous .
Nobody is (or ever was) bigger than the game. I believe Stokes will reflect of his choice of actions with some embarrassment in the years to come. Age may even mellow him sufficiently in the years to come to produce an admission of the fact.
Agreed the captain yo lead this rabble is there so who? we need to get Andy Flower back a tough no nonsense coach who won’t put up with this crap and get rid of those including Brook who don’t buy in. We need with this a tough no frills captain but who? there is no one in the current team who fits the bill.
Matt Prior suggested Sam Billings who hasn’t played Red Ball Cricket for over two years ! Left field choice ! On a podcast with Simon Hughes .
Well that is definitely left field! another possibility and I know he’s an Aussie is Jason Gillespie who did well at Yorkshire and is now coaching South Australia. I’ve heard him interviewed and he seems a very impressive character a deep thinker of the game played of course at the highest level.
Prior suggested Billings as CAPTAIN of the test side . Yes Gillespie would be a great coach as would Darren Lehman .. both good Aussie guys !
Flower led the team to a mental health collapse of Trott and the premature retirement of England's best ever batter Kevin Pietersen. Brook not long ago was rated number 1 in the world. Keep that man far away from the team.
Andy Flower is a vastly different coach, and man, to the one who led England to Ashes triumphs. He is less intense and had enjoyed unparallelled success over the last decade or so. To blame him for Trott's demise is preposterous - and also fails to give 'credit' to Mitchell Johnson! And Pietersen's demise was entirely a combination of his own work and that of his employers, the ECB, not the coach.
Really ok that’s your opinion so we shall have to disagree me old fruit
The approach to the run chase felt more like a protest than a strategy.
Stokes' retirement may have been a 'protest'. But I suspect Brook's approach was nothing more than a predictable display of care-free loyalty from a cult member groomed to believe that hard work is an unnecessary distraction from having a good time.
how do you think he became number one batter in the world? Just showing up? He obviously works hard.
It was a truly surreal passage of play. Duckett, the most attacking opener in the world, was the most measured, somehow.
I knew last year when he tried to call an early close to an inevitable draw against India by trying to shake hands with Jadeja ( who calmly refused and told England to bowl and field on … because he was looking for a century after six odd hours of holding England at bay ) that Stokes shows respect to none of the niceties of cricket . He is essentially a bully trying to impose his will on everyone around him and becomes petulant when told to ‘ eff off ! ‘
And yesterday his parting shot : the truly excellent elongated bowling spell , the stupid release of his dressing room farewell to his team , his insanely devil-may-care batting summed him up perfectly . A mixture of brilliance and shabbiness … a near-genius cricketer in physical and mental decline and in my honest opinion a lout .
He punched the crap out of someone and then evaded responsibility years ago. The die was cast then.
Well Behram, he WAS acquitted by a court...and it seems a little conspiracy-theory-ish to assume that that was simply a cover-up. If someone had wanted to cover it up, they'd probably have had a word in the ear of the CPS before it ever got anywhere near court....as, if I remember the story correctly, happened to another very famous England all-rounder when he punched someone when he was drunk.
As for evading responsibility, hanging around for the police to turn up and then giving the same story consistently from 2 am the morning it happened when you're still drunk to ten months later when you're on trial in front of the world's media seems a strange way to evade responsibility. Evading responsibility is what Alex Hales did--you scarper before the police arrive, disappear the next day and for some reason that I've never understood, aren't charged with the same offence that all the other people involved in the same fight were.
I really cannot opine from another continent whether he was guilty or not .. hence I’ve clearly written that . But that he loves a scrap on and off the field is almost irrefutable .
The ‘ reason ‘ given for his aggression there was he was defending two gay guys being assaulted . Who knows ? Perhaps so or perhaps just a cover-up to save a public figure . I really am in no position to know the reality but it seems he’s at heart a street fighter .. not just on a cricket field ! 🤣
I agree with every word you wrote Manners . I’m glad you have called a spade a spade in this piece you have penned . Yesterday was Stokes at his preening , selfish , publicity-seeking worst . I’ve always felt he’s an arrogant beer-drinking lout and his behaviour yesterday confirmed it . The fall of this man was inevitable at some stage , how Key and BAZ remain puzzles me .
Hi Neil.
Great article and summary of the afternoon.
As a New Zealander, and NZ Cricket Supporter for over 40 years, I feel that what Stokes (and his band of merry idiots) did in that last session really took the shine away from one of New Zealands great Test victorys, Test Series win as well as one of NZ's grittiest Test Centuries (Mitchell), a 300+ run opening partnership, a match saving (and with hindsight, a match winning) partnership between Mitchell and Ravindra.
This is the most complete team effort over a Test Series I can remember.
I can't imagine any team has ever had 9 x different players make Honours Boards across a 3 Test Series.
We have had five different century makers - Latham, Conway, Mitchell, Nicholls and Phillips - as well as four players with a fivefer - Henry x2, Jamieson, Smith and Foulkes.
Yet all of the English media (and fans) are reading clickbait headlines of Stokes et al...
We, down here in little ol NZ, will remember the match for the right reasons in years to come...
There is an argument to be made that Eng brought the game into disrepute on the 4th afternoon - the orchestrated bowling spell timed for the public announcement, the over the top wicket celebration carry on, the complete disrespect to the game and the opponent with whatever that batting display prior to stumps was, picking Bashir in a test team.....
I'm an Aussie, and honestly, this Bazball era could not have ended in better fashion. A complete train crash.
And, well played NZ. Got the wrong end of a dodgy one at Lords. Responded like a well rounded, well led and complete cricket team. Plenty of depth, plenty of character. Looking forward to the series in Oz this summer.
Well done, NZ. Showed what test cricket is really about. Not the clown show at the other end.
Plain truth in a sea of sycophancy. I see Stokes as a cricketer who performed great deeds rather than a consistently great cricketer. There was a slight justification for opening the batting - as McCullum did in that rain-shortened World Cup semifinal against SA in Auckland - and have a full go in an attempt to make a near-impossible target seem reachable. But for Brook to carry on like that was utterly brainless. Stokes has left his team in a mess and McCullum's position looks untenable, as does that of Rob Key.
Neither McCullum nor Key will be in their posts by the end of the English summer. Both were brilliant for a couple of years when English cricket was at a low ebb. I fell in love with Bazball cricket for a while. It was exhilirating, refreshing and winning. It felt like I was on a second honeymoon with the game. Now it feels like divorce can't come quick enough if Baz thinks Harry Brook's 21 runs from nine balls is the best way to chase down a fourth innings target of 373...
Far Canal!
..sorry, but I just had to....
But, yeah, that had to be the most self-indulgent thing I've seen in Test Cricket, was it really worth potentially losing a series for? It did have the smell of Baz McCullum about it too, reminded me of the 2015 WC final with his ridiculous glory or bust innings.
He said after that final: "The only mistake I made was failing to watch the ball." Justification for the shot was never in doubt. He never, ever doubted himself or his choices. The problem with genius players as maverick coaches is that they assume the same level of talent exists in the players they 'mentor.' It obviously doesn't.
Thanks for explaining the accompanying photographic metaphors for this piece Rich.
There’s something manic and entitled about Ben Stokes and I’ve been bemused that he’s almost become a protected species in England. That said I still think it’s sad it came to this. England’s over the top wicket celebrations when NZ had them buried were embarrassing and makes one wonder if a collective cognitive dissonance has settled over the team.
Cognitive dissonance is an acutely accurate diagnosis, Nathan. Spot on! There was a glorious slow-mo replay of New Zealand's celebration when Brook was dismissed. Two players could be clearly seen mouthing the words "...what the f*** are they doing?!"
The whole thing has been a bizarre circus. Feels like a middle finger to the ecb, and if it's not, wth?
The captain was awash with emotion and completely unable to control it. The coach thrives on that level of adrenalin - he doesn't care about the consequences. He's a junky.
That last hour was shameful from England, absolutely shameful. A négligent, irresponsable, careless and confused mess. 15 overs that summed up the complete and utter self-aggrandising farce that McCullumm's time with England has become. That was a side without any direction, cohérence or accountability; doing whatever they want because they've stopped listening to the coach months ago. And if it isn't, an he's behind that approach then that's even worse. English cricket has been in a mess many times but my word, it's bordering on fraud, calling this test cricket.
Stuart. I honestly don't believe I could have penned a more concise or accurate assessment of the situation. Care to write a Guest Column? Actually, I'm serious. I'd love to publish the angrily considered opinion of an England supporter...!
Thank you Neil. Those are very kind words from you. If you honestly do want the thoughts of a school teacher on summer holidays, I'm sure I can find the time to put something down, in between watching cricket, making cups of tea and frequent trips to the local shop to cater for my daughter's latest summer hobby. I can't guarantee that it would be any good, though.
Around lunch on day 4 Atherton (I think) spoke in breathless terms how we could all look forward to a classic 5-day test match, in the balance until after tea on the 5th day, with all four results in play. Entrance would be free, the stands packed to the rafters.
I had flash-backs to the 6th wicket stand of Atherton and Jack Russel at the Wanderers in 1995, to hold out for a draw, while I lost my 3-year-old son in the packed Wanderers crowd.
By contrast, Stokes pathetically sold the match, the series, his team, and the public for a tub of self-pity and an early shower.
I think of all the other English captains who resigned under great pressure, and the emotion involved. Juxtapose that against Stokes, and all I heard yesterday afternoon from Stokes was "this is the best decision for me."
It was all so pitiful, wasn't it? Lost amongst all of the wretchedness was Stokes' decision to keep six men on the boundary without a single fielder saving a single on the off-side when Daryl Mitchell was on 99*. Never, ever, ever give a man a Test century. Never give anyone a century, at any level of the game. Stokes' mind was gone.
I agree with you ( see my earlier note above ) it stank of conceit and utter disregard for the traditions of test cricket .. this wasn’t a fight to try and win/ save the or him going to the well one more time .. it was a ridiculous farce centred around his ego !
Well said Neil. It was the most over the top, adulation-seeking, self serving annoucement one can imagine.
Maybe he'll be happy getting a few more social media subscribers out of it all?
I suspect Stokes will be contrite in the weeks/months or years to come. I can't bring myself to believe he was thinking straight. He's not interested in making money or having social media followers. I hope it was nothing more than a flood of emotion scrambling his thougtb process...
I wonder if he’d shown any contrition for beating a bloke up at a pub years ago (rather than taking zero responsibility and being let off) whether things might be different now. No contrition then. Why do you think he’d be any different now?
Spot on, Manners. An egotistical self-destruction and the nadir of Bazball, which is saying something.
Yep. Bazball dying at the same venue it was born, four years ealier.
It's fascinating how the breathless, fawning coverage of Stokes inside the English cricket bubble contrasts with the reception his retirement strop has been received by the likes of Gids over on Et Al and yourself, Manners, right here
It always helps to have a more detached view of proceedings, Andrew. :)
As an English perspective on the South African perspective…Readers should not be fooled into thinking that the English cricketing public lap all this up and eat it with chips and a pint of Carling. We support the team in the stands (and even that is getting like football these days with people feeling the need to emblazon their favourite League Two nonentities on their cricket-supporting flag for some reason).
But we were WAY ahead of you on McCullum, a man so palpably unsuited for his current job he should investigate a future as a ballerina or an imam.
The appalling attitude that the England team has had to test cricket in the last few years has done so much damage, and Key and McCullum are at the heart of that. Stokes is responsible too, of course, but a key role of management is to protect players from themselves, to make decisions from the cool of the sidelines when the blood is hot and the muscles aching.
Even when it was getting results, it all seemed so childish and destined for an obvious fall. ‘Everything is about the Ashes’ is blithely insulting to the other Test nations (including the one that pays your bills, for good or ill). But then when the obviously sub-standard cricketers you’ve persisted with because ‘they’ll come through in the Ashes’ then don’t get selected for the Ashes…
The booze thing is real, but in a sense it’s a convenient cover. The current regime behaves like a gang of idiots when stone cold sober.
The best way for the ECB to make money right now would be to charge England fans £100 each to be in the room when MCCullum and Key are fired. They’d need to hire out an arena. They could probably afford to put cricket back on free to air TV if they did.
Stokes was a very good cricketer, perhaps slightly less than a great one. He provided moments and narratives more than consistency - this is what all-rounders do, and the ones who give you more than that are the true Kallis-and-Sobers greats of the game. He was flawed - aren’t we all? - but could offer plenty to patch up the flaws. The fact that he chose to leave on a flaw and not a patch is both appropriate and a massive shame.
However flawed he’s been, he’ll be missed. A coach who considers himself above the boring drudgeries of the game won’t be.
The more I read some of the comments on my columns, the more insecure I feel. Some of you write fare more lucidly than I can manage. David, you should be read more widely. Perhaps you are a writer... You are evidently as cross and fed-up as I am, yet you have managed to express yourself eloquently and without resorting to the foul-mouthery to which I succumbed. Well done to you! I shall attempt to follow your example henceforth. My understanding, incidentally, is that Baz and the ECB have agreed to part ways after the India white-ball series. Just a question of how much race-horse feed the hosts will need to pay...
Oh blimey. Humbled by that! I’m a frustrated writer, you might say. If I refrained from expletives it’s only because this didn’t seem the place to throw them around. God knows I’ve been doing enough of it when watching England these past years.
Also decidedly sad that Root was out in front of the media (on the 4th evening I think) defending/promoting that insanity as the right approach…
As I said in a text to a friend recently, should Brook become captain it just seems a matter of time before he’ll stop the England team wasting their time playing cricket and turn it into a proper McCullum-worshipping cult? There’s more than a little North Korean type fervour in their blind adherence to the dear leader.